wat bout pragnant strippers??
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
