video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
