windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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