My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
