Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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