I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
