NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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