Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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