i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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