whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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