no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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