He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
