i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
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