everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
