is your mom at the bar?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
