I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
