Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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