Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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