as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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