We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
