Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
