i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
