No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
