i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
