Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
