I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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