He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
