Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
