Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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