I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
