maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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