I bet he comes in French.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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