8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
honey bunches of taint.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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