I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
