i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
