tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
