i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
