I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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