My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
