4 words: hood of his car
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
