butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
