How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
