they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
