my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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