the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
