I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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