how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
