i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
