the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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