Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
