You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have demons in me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
